Caturday spirit

The cheers are over, the bunting is down, the mad hysteria is at an end. For another year, anyhow.
Luckily we don't partake in any of these Christmas things. Alas half of the modern world does and there is no escaping it.
Even the Turkish guy in the kebab shop wished us a happy Christmas. Nice try, but it doesn't work for the likes of secular humanists.
I'd rather call it Caturday. 'Have a nice Caturday' would actually sound nicer. And I'd even politely reply: 'Why thank you good Sir, and a very merry Caturday to you and your family'.
Shops and staff are eager to close and scarper off the day before Sandy Claws comes along. I was bundled out of the library on Thursday ten minutes before closing time. One of the librarians standing next to the door to unfasten the heavy iron door securing the valuable collection of manuscripts of the university was incessantly jingling the bunch of keys like a prison warden. They should put up a sign: 'We're closed 10 minutes before closing time'. They've got signs for everything else. I'm sure one more won't do any harm.