Spot on

I was checking out the weather forecast for the Formula 1 qualifying sessions and race day at Silverstone. The BBC has a special forecast dedicated to the race on the sports page, which is very handy. But I did have to look twice when I saw the prediction for Sunday. Now look closely at the picture I added.

Those rain showers. Somebody just had a laugh in the digital map room and put some random dots over the British Isles, didn't they.
It looks like chickenpox erupted all over.

Press Conference

This weekend it's the F1 Belgian Grand Prix.
I was looking at some pictures from the press conference on Thursday and came across a funny one.
I just couldn't resist adding a few text captions.
It's probably a bit obscure if you're not following F1.

Subs on holiday

The subs of of one of the national newspapers are on a summer break and monkeys are filling in for them once more.

These gems were in the paper's online edition last Sunday:

First up is National News.
It reads "19 people dead in traffic accident in Egypt."

Second one from Wednesday's edition in Foreign News:
It reads: "Magnetic field of Sun about to turn."

You can't get any more foreign than that.
What happened to the Science News section by the way?

Motorcycle to hell

Second three weeks ago to import Dr Livingstone's motorcycle with customs.
I phoned again (a different office this time) to ask what I needed to bring, to make doubly sure.
With some additional information (Dr Livingstone's written consent I was going to act in his place) I set off for Custom's bureau nº2.

What an event.
Ok, I parked in the ginournous parking garage in front of the buildings and memorized the number I parked on. 2143. Not so hard to remember.
Then I proceeded to the building, which is the former site of the Philips factories in Louvain.
Information board telling me customs are on the first level.
I take the elevator (which has no buttons inside to indicate what floor you want to go to) in the absence of clearly indicated flight of stairs.
I exit the elevator. Four doors leading to toilets, two random doors indicating some services which are not custom related.
But a sign still telling me customs are located to the right (according to the arrow). The only door on the right leading to offices is locked.
Guy with backpack exits elevator and opens door with bagde, goes in, door closes behind him.
Lady going into Ladies says: "My badge doesn't work to open doors and I work here. Best go down to reception on the ground floor, they'll ring and then someone will come and collect you."

So I take the elevator back down. Reception calls and tells me: "Fourth floor".
So I take the buttonless elevator once more.
A hunchback awaits me, holding ajar a door to the right. "Did they ring for you?"

It somehow reminded me of a scene from Young Frankenstein.

Then I had to fill in some form. An ring a bell again when I was finished.
-'Do you have the motorcycle here with you?'
-'How could I, I don't even have a license plate yet.'
-'Well I need to have to see the amount of miles on the clock.'
-'What?'
-'Or do you have a picture with you of the milage.'
-'No, it don't.'
-'Then I can't complete the application.'
-'What? But why didn't you tell me I needed to bring a picture of the milage. I phoned you to know if I needed to bring anything else. Why didn't you give me the right information.'
-'I'm giving it now, aren't I?'

-_-

So still nothing. This is never going to work. Dr Livingstone tried once more to get to the customs office. They were closed before closing time!

Strange things get cancelled during winter

More from the hilarious snow-news corner: while scanning the traffic pages of the police on Monday I came across a message displaying parts of roads that could be suffering from disruption due to roadworks.
But if you read it literally, that's not what is says, there is absolutely no mention of roadworks whatsoever.

"Nachtelijke hinder tussen St-Stevens-Woluwe en Heverlee.
van dinsdag 12 op woensdag 13 maart"

and then it says 'geannuleerd wegens winterweer'.

So in short it actually says: Nocturnal hindrance canceled by wintry weather.

Mihi.

10 cm is all it takes.

Just a few centimeters of snow and the whole country slips into utter chaos.
Or not as is the case. Just media scaring people to death with 'total chaos on Belgian roads', 'No trainservice due to severe weather' etc.

I took a screenshot of the traffic centre map yesterday morning while enjoying a nice cup of coffee before driving to work.
I didn't even know we had 1600km+ roads here. I looked it up on wegenwiki, which is a wikipedia for roads and according to the site we only sport 1763 kms of motorways.

American Psycho

Why do I, every time I see a picture of Lance Armstrong, think of a certain movie from 2000 starring Christian Bale?

Leave me alone. I know what I'm doing.

I got Dr Livingstone one of these. He liked it. It seemed appropriate and something he would say too.

Visit to the Royal Palace Het Loo

I went on a school trip to Dutchistan on Thursday. After getting stuck in traffic and a huge detour because the bus driver decided to slavishly follow his gps, we visited the Royal Palace Het Loo in Apeldoorn. One of our professors had arranged we were able to see the carriages collection behind the glass partitions. Of course we were more than half an hour later then ETA.
One of the chief stable managers showed us around, locking and unlocking doors to rooms where the public is not allowed to come.
After the stable tour we visited the palace itself. It was the object of much discussion and controverse in the eighties when restaured. The romantic garden was demolished and a 17th century garden planted instead. A lot of the rooms that had been changed were remodelled according to the original Daniel Marot designs and contemporary accounts of visitors to the William & Mary hunting pied-a-terre.

The arrangement and furnishings of the room do give an excellent idea of the shift in styles in furniture and interiour design from the late 17th century up till the 20th.
If you're not really very versed in furniture periods etc. I recommend the audio guide, which does give a lot of context about the kings and queens who resided there too.
On the whole, we as art students enjoyed discussing the furnishings. It was an agreeable visit. Alas we didn't have time to stroll around in the forest next to the castle. I think a visit is worthwhile, but if I were to return, I'd come back in spring or summer to explore the grounds too.

Bookbending the rules

Here's more stupid from one of the other continents in the Western hemisphere!

I ordered a book online. I've had trouble with couriers leaving a parcel at the door without me signing for them. That's not the actual problem, but when I get home it has usually rained half the day and my book is soggy.
Not all shippers wrap the book in some kind of extra plastic for weather proofing.

So: I hung up a sign next to the front door saying 'please leave parcel in car port so contents does not get wet'.
Usually if I'm not home, the courier leaves a note in the letterbox, bla bla, will call again tomorrow...
You know the drill.

Now I had a track & trace number on the parcel and it said 'delivery executed today at 8.17pm'.
But I was home yesterday and I saw no courier and did not have a book, albeit it being pre-paid.

So me, this morning, on the phone to the customer service of the book shop complaining about the missing parcel.
The help desk person sent me the slip of the shipping note, because 'somebody' had signed for it.
I opened up the email attachment and: lo and behold: someone had forged my signature.
Me very angry about this of course. This is not the first time I had trouble with the shipping company before (not FEDEX fyi).
Help desk person said she'd log a complaint with shippers (also not their first complaint either) and refund me for missing book.

Me slightly disappointed at not having book, but relieved at someone sorting problem out.

This afternoon when I got home I decided to ransack the car port in case I missed the parcel before going to the police to file a complaint for identity and property theft.
So after a good 15 second rummage around: Lo and behold: parcel left there by courier. DOH!
Me on the phone again with customer service to plead with them to drop the complaint against shipper.
Book Lady: 'Too late, I've already sent the complaint (where's inefficiency when you need it!). I don't think it is very nice of someone to forge your signature anyway.'

Moral of the story:
1) Me ashamed for tricking a courier into breaking the rules and him/her signing off on a parcel that should have been taken away again.
2) Me worried because said courier will have received a complaint against him/her from the people upstairs and will never ever again leave my parcel in the dry car port of the unthankful people ordering books.
He/she was being altruistic and I jumped to conclusions too easily.

Mea maxima culpa.

But I have my book now, so I'm pleased right now.
If you're wondering which one, it's Architecture of the Night. The illuminated building edited by Dietrich Neumann.

Mrs B not on strike today

Mirrors on shoes!

And in other news today: a variety of pervs were caught at the Brussels Auto Salon.
A man was seen masturbating behind the wheel of a Suzuki.
Maybe he was just being practical and trying out to see how roomy the car really was? It's an auto salon. My guess is Suzuki wasn't the only stand to get a visit from him. Not if he was comparing small city cars...

Then a German journalist was caught while trying to take pictures under skirts. I don't know what journal or magazine he was working for (Matador?) but I don't think it was the AMS.

And here is the icing on the upskirting cake ... a man was caught with mirrors on his shoes.
Mirrors on his shoes! My guess is we're not talking about a very high shine here.
How to you go about your business as a mirror-on-shoe-wearing-perv?
You needn't worry about getting caught, everyone will be looking at the cars and the hostesses, no-one will be looking down at your shoes. What could possibly go wrong? It's full-proof!

Here's that perv-plan in full:
1) Buy a ticket to the auto salon.
2) Try and buy custom mirror shoes through the internet.
3) If no one will supply you, make your own.
4) Buy two small pocket mirrors, some glue and some elastic.
5) Cut elastic to right size, glue mirror to it. Repeat.
6) Go to the auto salon.
7) If using public transport, avoid eye contact with fellow passengers as to not break into a smile. You know what you are going to do very shortly. They don't.
8) Go to lavatory and put mirror contraption on shoes.
9) Walk over to car stand, stand near women in skirt.
10) Put foot out and try to catch reflection in mirror.

Here's some possible explenations how he probably got caught:
a) I bet his mirror got all steamed up and he had to bend down to wipe it.
b) He didn't manage to find hand mirrors and had to buy some second hand car mirrors. They made him stand out in the crowd.
c) The girls at the Suziki stand weren't wearing skirts and got a bit worried at someone standing close to them with a foot out.

Train (ed) dog

My grandmother is in hospital after a fall. She's having surgery on Monday to mend her hip. She was quite comfortable in hospitable, her leg in traction to keep the break nice and aligned for the surgeon to fix it.
I visited her Saturday, the train on the way there was packed with people.
All of them speaking different languages. The guy with the dog was talking Japanese on the phone, in front of me a Tunisian living in Brussels was speaking English with two Turkish girls studying marketing and engineering, behind me some Germans were either arguing or having a normal conversation (sounds alike in tone of voice to me). Across from me two Russians students, behind them Polish folk, and behind them very loud Spanish people.
They were all talking, everything went crescendo. It was very hard to concentrate on the reading material I had brought with me. If they were talking languages I can't understand, then I would have managed but I just gave up after 1,5 pages and nodded off. I slept the whole ride just up to the terminus.
The dog belonging to the Japanese guy was sprawled on two seats and seemed to be all relaxed and comfortable.
Right up until the train conductor janked him off.

The doctor is in the hospital [literally]

A solemn apology for the lack of posting, but my life has been turned upside down lately.
Well, the doctor was in the hospital last week. And kind of discharged himself at the same time, on account of driving himself completely bonkers.

Dr Livingstone got home all right last time; the week after my last blog post. He was extremely exhausted, but not entirely different from previous month-long-stints-away-from-home-working-20-hours-a-day-for-4-months-on-end.
And when he got back we worked some more; a full week in our own workshop over here.
And on Friday we closed the shop early (well, actually two hours later than we planned) and went on a small get-away-weekend. Just the two of us. No computer with us. No hassle. Even telephone at a minimum. \o/
It was all relaxation, Hefeweiβ Beer & jummy Schnitzels as far as the eye could see (=Sunday).
Had lovely dinners and relaxing walks, even the land lady of the place we stayed in lent us her dog for walkies in the evenings. We saw foxes and deer while having a stroll in the German countryside. What strange shapes of heads these German cows have, so unlike the ones over here. My one big ambition in life not yet fulfilled: To stroke a cow. They always tend to shy away from me. [I haz a sad]
They did present me with my own private cloud of insects. A handful of irritating flies hovered above my head for about 300 meters until we reached the cover of the forest. Much to the amusement of Dr Livingstone, much to my chagrin.

So after a lovely 8 km walk on Saturday morning, some lovely hot Goulash soup and excellent coffee and a rummage around the local discount supermarkets we had an early dinner (Schnitzels und Hefe) and an early night. Utter and complete relaxation.

Dr Livingstone had a turn for the worse on Sunday morning. He started coughing up blood. I drove back home and we went to the emergency room at the hospital. Last time we were there they sent him home with a pain killer without even examening him.
Funny how you mention the word 'BLOOD' and they immediately take you seriously.
Within 1 hour he had had some X-rays taken, a heart monitor diagram, some antibiotics, anti-bloodcoagulants and the right diagnosis.
And Dr Livingstone thought they would just send him home again with some pills.
They kept him in for FIVE whole days. It was necessary because he had had a lung stroke and still has severe pneumonia. 'Normal' people would be kept in for at least two weeks.
So he's home all right, and at work at the same time. He fooled the doctor into believing he won't be lifting any stuff and be relaxing for at least two weeks.

Fat chance. Luckily, or should I say unluckily, one of his colleagues crashed his car about 100 meters from our shop and Dr Livingstone kindly lent his car to him. So he needs to be driven around. That was the deal. No driving cars for two weeks.

Today we just discovered Dr Livingstone had been taking an OD of anti-coagulants (that was the reason his sight was all blurry and he had a hard time remembering things).

As I am typing now, he feels calm now, a bit better then when he heard the news he had had an OD. He is sitting in his super deluxe armchair which we bough a couple of days ago to make him more comfy.

Will post an update on how he is feeling and how things are here once we have shifted this work load that has been piling up and weighing down and hovering above us like Damocles' Sword.

/teletext-type blog post

The F.A.R.T. to the Rescue!

I neglected to start Dr Livingstone's car and drive it for a bit while he's out on the road. So it failed to start (obviously). The alarm system had drained the battery. No sweat, just had to open up the hood, connect the battery charger and leave it overnight to charge.
Alas, the bonnet wouldn't open. I thought it was just me at first matching all the stereotypes: blond, female.
So I had to call on my neighbour to help. He showed up with his wife, their son and daughter in law and his best friend.
The bonnet did not budge. But then he borrowed my flashlight and took a look at the lever which opened up the bonnet.
The wire had somehow broken. Great.
So I had to call the roadwatch people to help out. They showed up two and a half hours later then announced.
My guess is they were having a threesome in the truck at a layby somewhere.
It was a F.A.S.T. truck (Files Aanpakken door Snelle Tussenkomst); an acronym which translates loosely into Tackling Traffic by Fast Intervention.
I will call them F.A.R.T. from now on. The Flemish Automobile Rescue Team.

Sebastian Skywalker

Ok, just one more Star Wars lookalike.
Luke Skywalker and Sebastian Vettel.
Looks like the Red Bull Racing Team has been using The Force to win all those Grand Prix.
The International Automobile Federation probably have got a rule for this.

From studying to soldering

It's back to fixing stuff for the mo. I handed in my paper this morning. Finally done with it. It turned out to be a good 46 pages of full text and I added another 9 or so image mash=ups. My eyes are a little sore from staring at the computer screen.
Ah well. All in a good cause.
Now on to the next ones. I have just under three weeks to write up another two. Wish me luck.

Prepare the guest room

Well, they weren't at home to Mr(s) Cockup. I was in front of the building I'm doing a paper on. Neighbour who was getting rid of all the moss on his drive way with a water pressure hose shouted they weren't in. 'Their car isn't there so they must be out'.

Fantastic. They're not in the phone book, there's no name on the letter box. Just my luck they're not in on the day I drive 252 kilometers (with the price of diesel this time of year!).

So no trick or treat. And yes, I guessed correctly, they are old age pensioners, very reclusive. The man across the street doesn't even know them.
Even the woman down the village library Oh, I know everyone in the village except them didn't have the foggiest.

Anyway, I took some pictures from the outside, sat in the pub till the local library opened, rang the bell again (still no one home) and then returned home.

The paper is coming along nicely now though. I've typed up eleven pages and still haven't scratched the surface of it. Ah well.

Plans are missing

I spent all day in the archive yesterday. I was planning on thumbing through some plans of the project I'm currently working on.
I've already waded through some extensively boring administration and letters penned in ink & gruesome 19th century handwriting.
So on to the plans. And I found out they ... weren't there. -_-
Someone had already taken them away to archive heaven. The archivist there yesterday (there's about 5 of them, all working part time or something) didn't know anything about it. So I emailed the archivist archiving the archives I'm working on to see if she could find the plans for me once again.
My paper is due at the end of the month and I'm starting to get a little bit worried now.

Bleh. Today I'm going to visit the little town and the building I've been doing research on.
I'm going to play trick-or-treat. I have to ask the people who live there if I can come in and have a look around.
Wonder how that's going to be.
'Hi there, I'm a student from the x University, currently writing a paper on the architect of your house.
I do not look like a student, as I am already in my thirties. It's ok if you do not trust me to let me in, especially with all the break-ins that have been happening in the area. Yes, I have a camera with me to photograph the building, not to inventorise your belongings to flog them after I've cleaned the place out.'

I wouldn't let me in if I was them.

Business as usual

Went down to Brussels to meet up with some friends on tour with Jamiroquai. Very nice to see them all again. Some of them I haven't seen since touring with that band.

They were all well. Mending and healing from broken bones, limping on busted kneecaps and nursing their hangovers.