How to spoil someone's picture at Oscar Night

I love watching the movie stars dress up in their frocks and glamour gowns. I also keep a look out for the non-celebs queuing in the back, waiting to get in. They're kinda on the red carpet, but not part of the floor show.
It seems some aren't that familiar with the expression 'the camera never lies'. Here are some gems from last night:

"Are we in the frame? Are we? Can you see us? Oh, hi Kate."

Having some weird and fat people in the background always offsets the star. Someone should have a word with that woman's personal shopper:

Mrs Vitriol is looking a tad envious:

I wonder what they're all thinking, but it's not happy thoughts:

I know what he's thinking, and it's happy thoughts:

We're overdoing that afro a bit here:

Of all places, the Red Carpet is definitely not the best place to pick a fight with your husband:

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