I have to come clean: I have Moonboots.
For my young readers wondering what they are: A Moonboot is a piece of footwear highly popular in the 70's.
Think Dr Martens or Converse All Stars but without the cool. Moon boots went out of fashion three decades ago, but I've seen them re-emerge every winter since. They've actually never been in fashion come to think of it.
It's just something that happened in the 70's. Like disco. Or The Partridge Family. Or your mother in a catsuit.
Tacky. That's the word I was looking for.
But if the fashion police would call round, they'd take me down to the nick and beat some sense in to me.
I've owned a pair of these for fifteen years (the same ones btw) and today was the second day I've worn them. Ever.
They are the most hideous looking winter foot gear imaginable.
When you're a kid, they're great:
-No shoe laces to be tied. Let's face the music here; why are there laces on the thing anyway? It's not like the moonboot is going to come off when you're walking around. You just slip your foot in it and that's it. The wooly bits inside keep everything in the right place.
-You can't tell left from right. The bloody things look identical! Every time you want to put them on you try and find some resemblance of a foot feature or something. Does that slope slightly to the right? Has that worn through on this or the other side? I've always wondered why they don't sell them individual but always as a pair. Why not mix and match? It's the only pair of foot wear I know of that makes it possible. Perhaps espadrilles too.
So if you see anyone walking around with white Moonboots looking slightly embarrassed: It's me.
Guilty as charged Your Honour. I am ready for my hours of service in the community and will clear away the snow on the footpath and even in front of the bus stop. Not that there are any busses here today. The rest of the country: fine.
But here: no. Only tractors about on the streets.
It looks kinda grim to get to class today and tomorrow. And my exam on Wednesday as I come to think of it.
Perhaps I should borrow some snow rackets somewhere. Or hire a bull dozer to drive in front of me.