Fahrenheit 451

As you may have deduced by now, I am a prolific reader and notorious horder of books. Dr Livingstone will testify to this fact. A small portion of my catalog has already found its way to the internet and is there for all of you to see. Just click on my LibraryThing sidebar on the right to go to my online library. I don't entirely know if my insurance is quite happy with all that paper being stored in the house.

Now I know bookburning is no longer en vogue and I would be the last person on earth to promote biblioclasm, but I have finally found a book that, if the chance of entrusting a volume to the flames presented itself to me, I'd fling it in without any hesitation whatsoever.
Anyway, I came home from my summer film school earlier this week (will blog about that some time in the future) and found a book that my mother in law had given the Teens™.
It's a Dutch book written by Aaf Brandt Corstius and Machteld van Gelder. It is called Handbook voor de Moderne Vrouw.
It is beyond a shadow of a doubt a collection of the worst load of cobblers and headless chicken-ramblings I have ever read.

A quick glance at some of the entries is all one needs to be convinced. It is just so wrong in every aspect of its wording, message and presumptions .
Its outset is to give the Modern Woman some kind of guideline to find her way around today's society.
Even if it were written tongue-in-cheek (and believe you me it is nothing of the sort) it would still amount to being 445 pages of pure, unadulterated drivel.
It is a plethora of poppycock all these glossy wimmins mags print up. I'll give some off-the-cuff translations, a handfull of uncut gems of absolute rubbish.

p 17: Of course, it could well be he earns less money, isn't as brilliant as you or not as beautiful. That is not at all lousy, as long as he is absolutely brilliant in other areas.

p 25: A couple of years ago the standard on flirting was published. The Rules. Oprah and others have dedicated a lot of shows to it, so you will undoubtedly remember it.

p 117: Advantages of breast feeding: -It's free.

p 118: Babies have an enormous sucking reflex. Rumour has it that if you'd get up, the baby could keep hanging on to your nipple just by the power of its mouth alone.

p 142: We think Rabbi Shmuley is an ok guy.

p 191: Anyone with an inferiority complex about her features and appearance and a small budget can try and manage this complex by using plastic surgery.

p 206: On how to combat a winter depression: Wallow in it! Stay at home. No one will force you to go outside, as is always the case in summer. No terraces, no parades and rosé-drenched barbecuehappenings. Just stay inside with the telly on. A huge pile of DVD's, a tub of pop corn and a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Because that cursed bikini-diet only has to start at the end of May.

p 213: Cocaine. What's fun about it?

Continues ad nauseam...

To top it off the codswallop is very unnuanced and totally geared towards desperate housewives who're already familiar with this kind of nonsense from day time tv shows (I gather Oprah being one of them) and will just see all that twaddle being reaffirmed.

Oh and too bad if you're a lesbian. You'll be shunned by Modern Women reading this patronizing book who gobble up every word in it. Or you'll be revered as just being the epitomy of playing hard to get. (Oh yes! p 26). And modern women being ... er ... heterosexual women with children married to men who are able to support them financially who have the right to a personal shopper.

I think I'll have to have a word with my mother in law. Giving the Teens™ a book riddled with pseudo science and praising quacks as sensible people is not the best way forward. Not for Modern Women. Not even for mankind in general.

Michael balls - part III

Oh yes, even more post mortem capers. Won't be long now before bigger bits than this go missing:
It is alleged Michael Jackson's prosthetic nose is missing.
So it really was a case of putting your face on before going out.

I prefer to sit in the dark

Read what it was all about two years ago on David Bordwell's blog.
This year he will be lecturing on The Film Year 1960. He has made an international selection from the Cinematek collection. We will be viewing Godard, Wilder, Kurosawa,...
The two other main threads will run on the Hollywood Emigrés (Garbo, Renoir, Karloff, Ulmer, Ophüls,...) and new Korean cinema (Kim Ki-Duk, Kim Ki-Young, Park Chan-Wook, Boon Joon-Ho),...

Nature is a cruel mistress

Mother Nature has been harsh. The new horse that was born Sunday morning lies dead in the field.
The owner has done nothing to remove it. I did see someone there next to the little horse yesterday evening, but nothing has happened. The mother stands over the remains and tries, in vain, to stir it into action with her head.

Let the good times roll

Had two new front tires fitted to my car on Monday.
Vrooom! Look out asphalt, here I come!

Florence Mousergale

Well, it took till eleven o'clock before Mouser stirred out of the sedation. Vomit. Glaze-eyed. Kitteh tried to get up, I put it on all fours.
Stagger, sway, teeter, totter, stumble, wobble. Just up to the kitchen door. There it keeled over gently and slept again. I pulled up a chair so I could watch over the sleepy animal.
After twenty minutes it got up again and wanted to jump on the window sill to get out. I helped. Fell asleep again right there.
More of the Florence Nightingale route, I got a good deal on in the Athelstan mystery I'm reading.
Then Mouser decided to wobble about some more, strolled round the living room, wanted to exit through one of the tall windows. The strut got more steady as kitteh moved about, but I got a look from it as though it said; "Please stop all the furniture from moving and swirling around".
It was trying to make one thing clear: It wanted some fresh air.
So I decided to let Mouser out for a stroll and supervise it from a distance. It wouldn't be going very fast, it was walking about like a drunken man trying to walk on a straight line.
It came with me down the drive and then did a 180º turn and headed out for the road. No cars about, it was well past midnight by now. It stopped at the side of the road and miaowed for the first time as if asking; 'Is it ok to cross the road?'
So I let her. A tractor was making noise working in a field somewhere, I think they're turning mown grass or cutting off wheat somewhere. It induced kitteh to try and run, but kindof stumbled. Then it sat down and relieved itself, letting out a second yelp as if to point out what a good cat it was.
Then I heard a car approach, picked Mouser up and went back indoors.
Far too groggy still to leave out on its own. It was nearly one o'clock and Velvet Claws™ decided to come and sit with me in the couch. A bit unlucky as I have taken off all the covers to take to the dry cleaners and they won't be ready 'till tomorrow afternoon.
But Mouser wanted a spot on my lap and purred gratefully. Then my arm went numb and I wanted to get to bed.
I left the little black hipster on some pillows. It joined me later on upstairs, the pain in her leg had gone. Hurrah!
This morning kitteh was all talkative and back to normal again.
I'm nackered because of the worry from yesterday.
This nursing thing is not for me. But I'm really glad the drugs have worked and I didn't let it saunter off on its own the first time. Mouser's a good cat, it deserves a healthy, cheeky life. I love it to bits.

Mouser's hip to be square

Mouser had been limping for two days in a row now, at times it seemed to get better. This morning I wanted to go to the vet, but kitteh was nowhere to be found.
This afternoon it resurfaced, I bundled Velvet Claws™ into the cat carrier and off we went.
Yelping and whaling from here to eternity in the car.
A busy waiting room: a very nervous Golden Retriever, a very shy black cat and Mouser. After me two more cats and a Jack Russel. Luckily the Golden dog got to see the doctor before the two dogs had a go at each other.
It was very warm, Mouser still resorting to special pleading and unsettling the cat in the carrier next to mine.
Finally the nice doctor took a look at kitteh. She's very fond of black cats. Mouser went very quit when the lid opened up. She took it out. '...What nice shimmering fur! Hello teeny weeny pussy cat! You look in a lot of pain...Hmm...Paw not swollen. Let's take its temperature.'
Mouser didn't like the sound of that, nor the insertion of the thermometer straight after that.
'...Not running a temperature...If you want to I can taken an x-ray to see if puss's broken something. The pelvis or a bone might be broken.'
Sure, no problem, anything to get a correct diagnosis and help out poor kitteh.
'I'll have to sedate her. Cats do not tend to lie still for x-rays. The dog that was just in here had to have an x-ray too, it had a broken paw.'
So Mouser got the good drug to make her go count some sheep (or I guess cats might count something else?), and went all limp after a while. It looks really scary, the eyes are still open but cat is fast asleep.
The vet put some drops in to make sure they didn't dry up.
'Is this the first time you've had an x-ray taken of your pet?' Why yes it is strange but nice lady.
We put kitteh on the xray table and ZAP! the machine sent some hight energy electromagnetic waves through Velvet Claws™.
'The right hip was dislocated, but it popped back of its own accord. That's why Mouser is in such terrible pain. The rest is ok, nothing was damaged. Probably jumped off something or hit by a car. It'll be as right as rain. I'll give something for the pain and against a possible infection. Kitteh will be asleep for another two hours.'
And Mouser still is while I'm typing this up. I haven't moved kitteh from the cat carrier. It's on the floor with the lid open.
I can here deep, heavy snoring. I'm glad it's ok and nothing is broken. I wonder how groggy kitteh will emerge from its lethargic sleep.

A new horse

Yet another animal was born next door. This time it is a little horse. The mare looks a bit tired, she's been popping out little 'ns every year for nearly a decade I've been told.
All the other animals (the four donkeys, four horses and a cheeky black pony) kept me awake all night, making irritating noises and galloping all over the place. Just being obnoxious really.
I think there's something wrong with its legs, it walks all funny and unsteady. Not that I know anything about horses. It just looks as if its got too much leg for its own good.

Michael balls - part II

I've had to catch up with teh intertubes. But as I'd thought, Michael Jackson has already made his first appearance post mortem.
His ghost was spotted haunting the corridors of his Neverland ranch.



Looks like he's a mere shadow of his former self these days.

Google Ads make Giggle Ads

Google ads make me giggle.
Take a look at this advertisement for Java tutorials.

Take Me Back To Dear Old Blighty

I'm off today. Meeting Dr Livingstone in London.
Travelling by Eurostar, I so hate flying. First thing I'll do when I reach St Pancras is go to Sir John Betjeman's statue. I always do. Must put some pictures up from last year.
On the other hand, every time I am travelling internationally by train a terrorist attack happens somewhere.
Let's see now:
On the 11th of March 2004 I was on the TGV heading for Nice. Madrid suffered train bombings.
On the 7th of July 2005 I was on the Eurostar heading for Waterloo station. London suffered train bombings.
Oh noes! It's a curse. Something's dreadfull it going to happen today!
...
Now lets add a little bit of scepticism to that shall we?
The last three years I've travellled nowhere by train and there have been train bombings in Mumbai (2006), Novgorod (2007) and Balochistan (2008).
Nope. No pattern there.
See how easy it is to debunk these silly coincidences?

The World According to me - Year 2

This is a bit of a belated post, but here goes: Year two of Mrs B's never ending ramblings. Chuck Norris cake all round!
What has happened on the blog this past year? A quick round up:

-Meh, still no visitors from Antarctica.
Not even now we have our own non-emission polar base.
Looks like I was wrong, no sex crazed scientists on the cold continent looking for a little heat on teh intertubes.

-I saw a lot of traffic about the omega pharma e-waves phone chip scam. It looks like they're trying to find a market for the scam in the rest of Europe. Some people want to find out what these non existent quantum physical information waves are really about.

-Folks want someone to explain post modernism to them, it's a jumbled up handfull at best, I might do a thorough post about this during the summer.

-Cats having thermometers inserted in them is also a very popular search term. Thanks to the Thermometer goes where lolcat.

-Hacking facebook or apps are a popular pasttime too it appears.

-I expect the fashion police had a very busy winter. There was infinite interest in moonboots, how to clean them and which side goes on what foot.

-The LHC particle adventure scored too. Yay for science!

-My blog entry on Colour changing spiders is the most popular one.


Some strangely disturbing search terms found their way to my little ramblings:

-italian +cheese+worms+health risk+once eaten+name+type of worm
Mrs B: I suspect someone had some lovely cheese and crackers and then took a good look at the food and realized it had probably passed its sell by date by a couple of years. And then was worried if there were any health risks involved.

-license to crennelate
Mrs B: Someone looking over the law before they submit their over the top planning permission?

-balls-up maritime expression
Mrs B: Some creative writer/journalist wanting some novel description of the Iran/UK sailor incident?

-do weasel balls float?
Mrs B: I don't know and I'm not going to try.

-hamster lost circulation
Mrs B: I hope you have fixed its wheel by now or taken the rodent to see a vet.

-it will all make sense in the end
Mrs B: Will it really? How very comforting to know someone is reading all the bullcrap I'm typing up. There's hope for mankind yet.

-And a heartwarming: 'The enchanted world of Mrs B'
Mrs B: How very sweet.

-And of course I did get a lot of traffic for people looking for porn. Because that's just what the web is for, right? Sorry to disappoint some of you, but my entry on 'Hooters' really was about owls.

Wikipedia authority

I'm confused about this article in the New York Times.
Keeping News of Kidnapping Off Wikipedia

Did I miss anything? A couple of questions leap to mind:
-Didn't they factor in the possibility they might have known who they were kidnapping in the first place?
-It might be possible they didn't turn to Wikipedia for their information in the first place.
-So you ask fellow newscasters to keep the news of the kidnapping out of their publications. But what about bloggers?
You can place them on the same reliability level as Wikipedia. It is all user-generated content. Bar all the user chats and peer checking going on, it is still some utopian reverie to think everyone who contributes to an article on wiki is truthfull and exact.
But there has been loads of stuff typed up about that already, I'm not going there. Go here for instance.

How come all of a sudden Wikipedia is taken so seriously? Is it because a lot of hacks just look up stuff on it and, frequently to their own embarrasment, copy and print up the exact same faulty details? Maybe they just assume the kidnappers will do the same?

UFO spotted indoors!

Spotted in Dr Livingstone's hotel room in Manchester: a UFO!
And I have proof! Luckily I took a screen shot of the thing before it was gone.
Look at eeet!
It was hovering in the background all the time we were having a video chat.
Dr Livingstone couldn't see it when he turned round, he said there was only a little reading spot above the bed, but no UFO.
It looks exactly like all the other flying saucer's that are found on the internet!
Strangely it mysteriously disappeared when he turned off the lights in the room...



*sniggers

Brand New Donkey

Badly Shorn Sheep™'s owner has gotten yet another mouth to feed. A new sweet, fluffy, adorable donkey was born today.
It's already frolicking about and straying a good while away from its mother.
The donkeys all look like they've finally been brushed clear of all that old hair that had been clinging to them for ages.
Some of them even glitter in the sun.
It's very hot and sticky today, poor beasts are all panting like crazy to cool themselves.
And Badly Shorn Sheep™ is burping all the time. I've never heard it do that before. It sounds like some air escapes a blocked drain now and then.
Or maybe it's scared of The Beast.

Michael balls - part I

Looks like CTV Calgary really got the scoop on this one:

Lawyer Brian Oxman, a sometime-spokesperson for the Jackson family, alleged that prescription medications may have contributed to the death.
"For the last many months, and almost more than a year, this family has been talking about the use of medications by Michael and warning he was going to wake up dead," Oxman, his voice wavering, told CTV News Channel.

Oh noes! Run! Zombie alert!

You tend to read over these things, don't you?

The King of Pop has popped it

I thought I'd woken up two decades ago this morning. I haven't heard so much Michael Jackson songs playing on the radio since the eighties.

I can still remember when the Thriller video directed by John Landis aired for the very first time on the telly. I think it was on a British network, MTV was not available in Europe at the time. Don't recall if it was on ITV, Channel 4 or the Beeb. Announcements went out and everyone anticipated the full length version. I got to stay up late to watch it, and it subsequently gave me a fascination for all things concerning undertaking, interment and funerary architecture.
The thing that impressed me most was the spoken word act by a long time favourite of mine Vincent Price.
That and the dancing zombie with the green tights.

I wonder how long it will take before the nutjobs come a-crawling out of the woodwork saying he faked his own death.
And reports twenty years from now still spotting him alive, just like Elvis.

I hope he will be cremated. I'm sure everyone will not refrain from pointing out he'll resemble himself as he did in the Thriller vid very soon. Or we will probably end up with a neverending stream of reports of postmortem excursions of the body; just like Mr Chaplin. Or parts of it showing up on auction somewhere.

So is the King of Pop going to have a funeral befitting his status?
I mean,the venue has already been booked, a King should lie in state.
As the man said himself: "I just want to say that these will be my final shows in London. When I say this is it, this really means this is it. This is the final curtain call. I'll see you in July and I love you."

AEG Live could make a killing on this one.

Meh, I hate it when Icons die. Let's hope they give him a good send off.

I'm back!

I'm back in the land of the living. Completed my last exam yesterday. All went swimmingly, now still waiting for the uni results.
I got a first (again) on my other Art History course, I was quite chuffed to hear last Saturday. Yay for me!

On an entirely different note: I got rung up this morning at a quarter to eight (not a good time to speak to me on the phone). I had made an appointment for a technician to service our heating system.
But no, I get told the guy hasn't shown up for work today and is probably not going to come in at all. Would another time suit me better?
The guy on the other end of the line got a good bollocking (I'm not very nice in the mornings, Dr Livingstone can vouch for that). I asked him what the point was of making an appointment and then not showing up. I asked for a discount (of course) and invented some excuse I had to take off time from work to be home. He'd pass it on to the people in the office (yeah right).
Anyway, they're coming round tomorrow after lunch.
If they're not hung over or something.

Alligator...

Literal Video Versions

Literal Video Versions: new internet hit?
Gave me a good laugh.



Also check out Billy Idol's literal 'White Wedding' and a literal Rick Roll.

Shoes full of fail

I have a thing about shoes. When I can do without them, I go about bare foot as much as I can. It's healthy and I'm not wearing the heels down either. Anyway, I don't have the need for shoes inside the house.
I used to wear high heels once in a while, but a bad back makes sure I can't wear them as often as I'd like too.
But I'm very particular about my shoes. They need to be top quality leather, no seams at inconvenient places.

These days I go for comfort, but that does not mean I don't care for style.
There are a lot of comfy shoes out there and some are a good alternative to high heels. Take the ballerina for instance. I don't own a pair, but some can be pretty, if they're the right quality. You don't want to have a pair that makes you look like you've just come from your weekly jazz dance lesson or a pair you'd give your kids and say 'You'll grow into them'. So steer clear from the scrunched ones and avoid square tipped ones too.

But there is rather a big segment of the shoe market I find repulsive to the bitter end, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Just to make sure you won't be in them if the worst comes to the worst, be prepared. So to help you stay out of mischief; here's my top ten of fail shoes.
If you own a pair of these, I wouldn't like to be in your shoes when the fashion police come calling! The cells would be crammed to the ceiling.

Mrs B's Top 10 fugly shoe list:

10) boxer type shoes (boots & shoes): It's not fashion sweety, it's made in China and a cheep look. Those ultra flat soles do not help to get a grip. On reality.



9) Hard wedge sandals: They keep crawling from under the woodwork somehow. Style less.


8) Cowgirl boots: no, no, no. Unless you've got the complete kit you wear to your Saturday evening line dance get together. And it's not cool to wear them under a frilly dress either.


7) Boots under frocks: It didn't even look cool in the eighties you know. Don't ever wear ankle boots or even knee high boots with skirts. It's just silly. It really looks as if you're wearing your winter shoes because you've only got one pair and saving up for some new ones. I couldn't even bring myself to googling for an image.

6) Moon boots: Because you had to wear them as a kid doesn't make it ok now you're fully grown up.


5) 80's shoes: You know what kind. The smooth pumps, the ankle boots with the folds. They've been out of fashion for two decades. If you really want to stick to them: get the matching perm and polka dot dress and leg warmers that go with it.


4) Eskimo boots: Seriously, even elephants have a more elegant straddle wearing those.


3) Gladiator sandals: don't go there. It's not because it's called fashion they actually look nice. No matter how much you shell out for a pair, they still look cheap.


2) Flip flops: I'd like to see you catch a metro in rush hour on those and get back to me how many times someone stepped on your toes. Flip flops are something for tourists to wear when they stroll from their hotel room to the beach and back. Something you actually wouldn't get upset by once you've gone for a swim and on your return found out someone nicked them.


1) Crocks: Ah yes. The shoes I love to hate. You do know you look like a dork going around in those? Even though everyone else is wearing them too. Not even winter crocks (with the woolly inlay) or even crock boots (oh yes, they exist!) are even remotely acceptable. If you've got a pair to walk around the house or in your garden, fine. Pass them off as very practical slip ons if you must. But honestly, someone wearing those, especially morbidly obese people, in public have a very low self esteem. They're, come to think of it, a new version of those white orthopedic slippers and wooden shoes the old folk wear. And nurses. And truckers. And Germans and Dutch on holiday.
Like Birckenstocks. It's not even casual. It's uncasual, if there is such a thing.

You've got mail

As some of my dear readers will know, I don't think very highly of our national postal services.

Another incident made me go 'I don't bloody believe it!' yet again.

I got a letter. It was in some kind of plastic envelope. A big chunk of the letter and all the paperwork was missing in the corner.
The text on the wrapper read something along the lines of:

"Dear customer, sometimes things get damaged in the process of handling the mail. This has happened to the contents of this envelope. So in view of this incident and all the unpleasantries that might result from it, I sincerely wish to express my regret.
Please excuse us, The Postmaster."

It's not even signed or anything.

So they have pre-printed apologies now do they? It looks as they're just taking the piss, aren't they?
Probably so they can say: 'See, the stats say we've received less complaints this year. And we've issued x apologies to customers.'

So what actually happened to my letter? The dog ate the postman's homework? It's a lame excuse by any standard, but some people really still believe they can get away with it through adulthood on the job.

Drop the dead donkey

Oh no. Wait... It's not dead yet.

Badly shorn sheep's™ owner is not very good at looking after his animals. Even the adorable stubborn donkeys look as if they've been reanimated five times over. Every morning when I look out the window I fear the worst has happened.
It is getting worse every day. A goat and a sheep are limping badly and he's not doing anything about it.
Animal welfare people have been to look in on him after we alerted the police a couple of months ago, but I've not seen them do anything. They just gave him a warning he needed to mend his fences.
Which he kindof tried and resulted into a farce.

Maybe I'll give them a buzz again when temperatures pick up and I haven't seen any improvement.
The poor beasts are void of any water. The little horse that was born last year is so skinny one could play ribcage xylophone on it. They don't get any extra feeding and have to make due with the non existent grass in the too small a field.

Poor animals are being maltreated and there's nothing I can do about it.

Soyuz docked to ISS

I watched the docking from the Sojuz to the ISS, as a little intermission from my Gothic Architecture studies.

The broadcast did start at 14:15 sharp, first we got a good overview of the Space Flight Command Centre. Then we got 'Programme Crypte: Insertez une Carte'. And then it went to colour bars again. It's not exactly NASA TV.
Good thing they are better at launching a rocket than public outreach. No, that's mean of me. They are doing a great job and very much trying to bring this to a wider audience. The Dutch ESA centre has some cool options for young space enthousiasts and artist/biologist Angelo Vermeulen is currently working on an art/research project.

Anyway, after some time the technical glitches were solved and we got a good look at the docking and very interesting audio commentary from André Kuipers, the Dutch astronaut about docking procedures and how the Sojuz has to rotate to have its solar panels pointed towards the sun.
...Radar information corrects computer predictions. Ground tracking control is lost once it flies over China, an antenna that is no longer needed is folded up, and we enter the night part of the earth...
Automatic docking took place over southern Japan at 14:35.

Once docked the space travellers have about 1 rotation around the earth to check everything. It takes some time to do this, they are in full space suits in case something goes wrong. Once everything is ok, no air leaks or what have you, they can open hatches on both sides.

How cool is this. Countries who were entangled in a cold war two decades ago cooperating on this kind of scale. Where politics fail science and technology succeed. How much more proof do we need?

Three cheers for science!

Oh, and the crew had a nine hour sleep before starting manoeuvres. So next time Dr Livingstone says I sleep way too long, I can tell him astronauts sleep late too on some occasions.

Two of a kind?

Irritating web banners, I have a thing for them.
You know, those things filling in the sides of web pages. Flashing, urging you to click on them.
Even dating sites do advertisements.
These ones caught my eye. They were on different sites but the girl in both pictures is the same one.
I smell scam all over. I wonder how much money they make by conning people out of their dosh. They cater to different audiences, granted, but gullibility is, alas, found all over the world.

How's this for irony

I've forgotten where I left my memory stick.

Famous Spanish Inventions

I've been trying to get the right healthy & energy foodstuffs in me so my brain makes it through this exam period.
I bought a bunch of oranges that come in one of those strange nets. The label assures me they were Producido en España.
Now, in the run up to the European elections, I was curious about the pre-concieved notions we Europeans have about other Europeans.
You know, Germans are sticklers for rules, Belgians always on holiday, French always on strike,... those kind of things.

Now a word about Spain. Plenty of cultural heritage, an ideal vacationing spot, lovely food.
But what about the other things? Spain's contribution to the world of inventions? They don't actually stand out as, say, Germany or England do in the field of famous inventions. The industrial revolution sort of blew straight by them. There are probably al lot of naval or warfare improvements around which the Spanish can claim were theirs, but I'm thinking commercial, well known stuff here. How many famous Spanish scientists do we retain from history? I'm afraidy wady I don't know a single one by heart.

So in an attempt to be fair I did a bit of a search and this is what I came up with.

Here are Those Famous Spanish Inventions listed in full:
-a machine that can de-seed pomegranates automatically
-the autogyro (think Little Nellie, the James Bond one seater copter)
-tapas
-Spain, of course, goes without saying
-errr
-that's it.

I may be a bit harsh, but the label on the oranges kind of confirmed my pre-conceived notion about the Spanish.
I mean look at it. Take a good look at it. Even someone who isn't even remotely interested in mechanics will have worked this out in a jiffy.

So what do we see? We see a donkey attached to some kind of contraption by means of a fixed rod. What is the animal supposed to be doing? I assume it should go round the pointy thing (looks like some kind of a sombrero) in circles, Samson style.
But what is that big round thing? It's a waterwheel. The flow of the water is supposed to make it turn. The axis of the wheel is connected to the donkey through the sombrero.
Now what is going on here? A few questions leap to mind:
-Is the donkey trying to pull the wheel out of the water?
-Is the donkey powering the wheel and making the river flow?
-Where is the owner of the sombrero? Is he having his siesta underneath the palm tree behind the little house?
-And what has this got to do with the oranges in the net?

The more I look at it the more I am puzzled.
I can only conclude one thing: the Spanish sucko mucho at mechanics, hence no famous Spanish inventors.


Ok, so they may suck at graphic design as well.

Let's not split hares

It's been a while but Mouser has been bringing some unusual stuff home again.
'Look what the cat dragged in' has to be taken quite literally.
Mouser's been collecting hares. Just like the one it caught last year.

Some doors and windows were open and I heard that specific yelping sound it makes when it's caught something. I wasn't fast enough to go and have a look out. Mouser abligingly brought it into the living room for me to see. It sat proudly next to the hare. Just like a Golden Retriever.
I took it outside, no pulse, no breathing. It was still warm. Mouser played with it for a while and then I put the hare on the compost.
Cat didn't see I'd taken it and went looking all over.
Then it crossed the street into the field where all the cows are and went on the prowl again.
I resumed my computer work.
About ten minutes later I heard yelping yet again.
Another hare!
I was confused. Did it go and get the other one I put on the compost? I had to go see and check.
No, it was still there! She'd gotten another one!
I let kitteh keep this one. Mouser started to nibble on this one, half of it was already gone by the time I started typing again.
This morning the rest of the hare was gone.
What a good little hunter!
Too bad it's poaching other fields, it should catch all the mice and moles in our garden.
Ah well, they do say variety is the spice of life, don't they?

Towel Day

Today is Towel Day!

Always remember where your flanel is.
If you don't you're not a proper geek.

"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have"

One for the road

For Bert, who is currently driving around in Scotland.

We learn from our mistakes?

People don't seem to learn any lessons from history.
Every group has it's own motivations.
Ironic how everyone uses the same kind of channels to get their different, nay, conflicting views across.
It seems hatred of human kind is latent in some. Even after much endured hardships.

Click on the picture to sample proof of an example found on Facebook.

Hitchcock was a Belgian

A friend of mine took a picture of a restaurant in downtown Toronto called The Fat Belgian.
Notice the logo in between the windows? Now compare it to the world famous silhoutte of Alfred Hitchcock.
See it?
Yes, Alfred Hitchcock was indeed a fat Belgian.

Mother Theresa on the washing line

As my neighbour was hanging some clothes on the washing line, I noticed something.
A slight resemblance. And I mean slight in the broadest sense of the word.
Mother Theresa’s head scarf.
Is it going to be a Second Class Relic some day if she makes it to sainthood?
Granted, the blue colour has faded a bit, but then again, sworn poverty does tend to put the strain on buying a new outfit once in a while, hence the faded trimmings.
Luckily there was no red sock amid this article of clothing.
A pink scarf would have been out of the question.

Belgian Army under fire

Belgian armed forces partaking in an exercise called operation Crazy Trip in Den Helder have had to endure a few complaints about their behavior:
-Dealing out spent and unspent training ammo to kids.
-Taking up position on a balcony of an old people's home and firing their weapons in the middle of the night.

A storm of protest ensued. Granted, dealing out ammo to kids is not very safe. And some of the old dears in the home probably relived their world war childhood.

Mind you, they did kinda apologize by taking them a bunch of flowers the following morning.

But this begs another question: Last year a similar exercise took place in Ostend on the 28th of August called FTX Storm Tide. This was a joint exercise including Belgian commando's, Spanish infanterists and Dutch marines.
Soldiers standing on top of the Koninklijke Gaanderijen were dealing out spent shells too. Pictures galore on the intertubes.
And no one started an investigation about that. Isn't that a bit odd?

The soldiers also had their picture taken when standing next to the statue of King Leopold II on top of the Drie Gapers.
It struck me as quite funny, it reminded me of occupational German forces during the war doing exactly the same thing and then sending off a few copies off to the home front to see where they'd been and all the nice places they'd already conquered.

Funny how history mimicks itself in the strangest fashion and the smallest details...

Elephant born in Antwerp Zoo

This morning an elephant was born in the Antwerp Zoo to Phyo Phyo, a 28 year old Asian elephant. They're calling it Baby K till they've settled on the name. And managed to make out its gender.
All the other elephants are pretty curious to see who their new companion is. This baby-elephant looks adorable. Dumbo looses hands down on the cuteness vote.

Back soon!