A beginners guide to Facebook apps

Pretty sure I'm not the only one being bombarded to join in and take likeness quizzes, buy friends, give gifts, super poke, hug, kiss or pet someone, play vampires and werewolves,...(continues ad nauseam).
I have reached the conclusion that a few of my friends have way too much time on their hands because they have a massive array of apps installed. (Just to be VERY clear on this: all the little pictures found below are shots taken from my friends' pages).

Some of them are stomachable and are within the bounds of normalcy (they do however reside in the minority category).
E.g. 'Cities I've visited', 'Big photo'. Those have gotten the 'Mrs B approves' stamp.
Nice to share some stuff with people you don't see very often.

I only have the default ones on my account. So anyone sending me a message on my non-existent Fun Wall are talking to the virtual hand.

If you want to install some apps you need to give your email address and password so your data can be accessed by an unknown third party. There is just no way I am going to, but still, if you don't want your sensitive data accessed you can always register an account with yahoo or whatever with the explicit purpose of using it only for social networking sites. Me thinkst it the safest way not to have someone being able to cause extensive damage. But still some chance of that happening. Always a possibility to get hold of information and use it to some evil intent.
I'm surprised I haven't heard of this. But not hearing about it is not a guarantee it is not happening. It is easier to make some quick buck off a credit card scam than with an account. People hack computers all the time to reroute their illegal activities via some unsuspecting person. So someones account could help to cover your tracks if a diabolical mastermind wanted to.

Whoops, strayed a bit off topic there.

So about these applications. There are quite a few of them around. I have taken the liberty to shine my dark light on them and have categorized them for your convenience.

A) Some of them allow you to collect pointless things your friend send you (e.g. drinks, things that grow in the garden to save the rain forest, a fish tank and most bizarre of all: eggs that hatch a vast array of mammals, mermaids,…)

B) You can 'buy' your friends as a pet and then stroke them, give them gifts,...
Human pets. What do you do if you e.g. go on holiday and can't get some online time?
Tie them to a tree before you leave?


C) A pick of random woo crap:
-Daily horoscopes.
-Send Good Karma.


D) The biggest chunk of the applications are the quizzes:

1) Quizzes on specific subjects. Fun stuff, the time wasting kind. The very same flash games you can play online without having to give out your email address and password. I like the Traveler IQ Challenge.

2) The complete woo ones:
-What does your birth date mean?
-Who were you in a past life?
-What kind of eyes do you have?
-What kind of Mom will you be?
-What kind of Baby will you have?

3) Quizzes for the sexually insecure:
-What's your Sex IQ?
-What is your Karma Sutra Position?
-What's your sexual personality?
-What position are you?
-What kind of condom are you?
-Which Sex and the City character are you?
-What is your sex song?

4) If you're in some kind of identity crises or emotionally unstable you'll want to install these:
-Are you romantic?
-How good a kisser are you?
-Who's your celebrity boyfriend?
-Which foreign guy should you date?
-Will you marry your present boyfriend?
-What's your best quality?
-How classy are you?

5) There is even a quiz for the schizoid person:
-Which celebrity couple are you?

6) The totally pointless ones:
-What city should you live in?
-Which Johnny Depp character are you?
-What is your 80's song?
-What is your booze IQ?
-What weapon best suits you personally?
-How British are you? (I’m sure this is a very popular one with Scots, Welsh people and inhabitants of Northern Ireland)

7) Likeness quizzes which I find most irritating and extremely pointless.
-What fruit/animal/drug/celebrity/ rainbow colour/type of music/ cartoon character are you?
-Which dead Rock Star are you? (uh?)
-What kind of shoe are you? (who cares?)
-What god are you? (if you're a member of a monotheistic religion I suppose you won't be installing this one or you’d be pretty miffed to find out your Vishnu).

This one must be the pinnacle of them all:
-What dictator are you?

8) The questions you should be asked by/or see a doctor about:
-How big a drinker are you?
-Are you colour blind?

9) The rhetorical question, nicely answered for you anyway by the app.
-How evil are you? (this should be linked to the dictator one).
-How stupid are you? (is this based on the count of the number of apps installed?)

I've left out tons of others, but they are equally nauseating.

And finally the app not on there but needs to be (or is it?):
"What Facebook app are you?"